Why having a toddler is like being at a Frat Party

10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.

8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There's definitely going to be a fight.

3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

One Month Old!

Paul is one month old and growing like a weed! He is 10lbs 5oz (60th percentile) and 22.25 inches long (75th percentile). The doctor says he looks perfect! I tried to take some photos of him today, but he wasn't really in the mood. The shoot went something like this...

You just want me to sit here and look cute?

How long is this going to take?

I don't know if I like this

Didn't you hear me say I'm done??

Forget you, I'm going to sleep